My Wall

I got the bug to redo my wall a few weeks ago. I had fun and think it looks cute, every now and then I look at it and think I don't like it, but I do. Aaron has been working on a sand rail and I was jealous of his project, so I decided to do a little project  myself. Now I want to redecorate my whole house... I love to decorate my home, but I have cut back do to less time, another baby, and wanting to save money. Someday I hope that I get to decorate a home for real.

9 Months

Sleeps 10 to 12 hours every night.

Cuddles.

No teeth, but they are so close!

Moving around by scooting on his tummy, he pulls his legs up into a crawling position then flops forward.

He wants to crawl so badly, any day now its gonna happen and he will be a happier boy.

He is smiley.

Sits up by himself.

Claps his hands.

Can feed himself finger foods.

Still nursing.

My Night Time Thoughts...

I read a blog post of my older sister's about night time thoughts. I think the phrase "night time thoughts" came from our Mom. She always came in to tuck us in every night growing up. And some nights, maybe more than some during the rougher teenage years, I would spill all my night time thoughts to her. The thoughts that come at the end of long days that really aren't how you feel overall, but when your emotions get carried away and mole hills turn into mountains. This usually happens at night and she would listen and say these are night time thoughts and things will look better in the morning. More times than not she was right. Now that I no longer have my Mom tucking me in every night and I am the Mom tucking in my children (and in Daisy's case this includes multiple tuck ins every night) I still get night time thoughts. I guess we all do from time to time.

I have really enjoyed this past year of our little life. I love my family, we have been blessed with health and happiness. I really shouldn't have anything to complain about and for the most part I don't, but guess what its one of the nights filled with night time thoughts. And tonight I am tired. I have been on the verge of frustrated tears most of the day. Its a drill weekend for us and that means me getting everyone ready for church, to church, and then three hours of church by myself with two very loud wiggly children. I try to pretend that I have it all under control, maybe I even had a few people fooled. To be honest my kids were really good, its just hard managing two other people who's every little need depends on you. And this isn't easy when Dad's lap to sit on is at an air force base and Daisy needed to pee three times during sacrament. Oh Daisy Daisy Daisy... She is a ball full of energy. She never stops talking. Its so fun to hear what she is saying, to watch her mind process thoughts then tell me all about what she is thinking. I love it, but today I just wanted quiet. A quiet where there is no whining or tugging at my clothes or elbowing me in the chest when she gets off of me or cries for more juice or demands that I play with her exactly how she wants me to. Sometimes I just want a break, then I feel guilty for wanting a break, like I shouldn't ever feel tired or overwhelmed with motherhood because its what I love to do. I LOVE my kids, everything about them. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to other Moms because we all have our own things we are dealing with. Today though I am comparing myself to the women who don't ever seem to need a break and I think judge me for wanting a few hours of quiet to not have to meet the needs of everyone around me. I am tired. Being a Mom is tiring and draining and thankless some days. EEESSH! That sounds less than great but its how I feel tonight. I love giving of myself to my family. I cook and clean and play and love over and over, but tonight I am tired. I walked into my closet full of clothes needing to be washed tomorrow as I hear Daisy creek open the door for the 4th time and I cried. Silly I know. Laundry is not hard to do, tucking Daisy in again is a chance to give her another kiss, but it gets hard. I am also a perfectionist in my own way. I get into my head of how I want things to be, how my house should run, how I should be and if I don't live up to my self set standards I get  frustrated. But like I said these are night time thoughts and in the morning I will wake up and do that load of laundry and give Daisy a big hug and a kiss because its what I need to do and want to. But not tonight, tonight I am having night time thoughts and don't want to do anything...

However tonight as I was feeling sorry for myself and frustrated I thought why is this so hard sometimes? These seemingly small things that make up my day and seem to weigh on my mind? And a good thought popped into my head... "because I am trying to do it all on my own, that there is someone who can help me not feel so frustrated and tired on long days".  I CAN'T be the best I can be without help from a  loving savior. Now I just have to remember to give my night thoughts to him and maybe next time my night time thoughts come I won't cry over loads of laundry.

From the Mouth of Daisy

"I want to grow big and strong...like the chickens!"

"I don't need pannies...I am going to work on cars."

"I want to go to Gobby Gobby." (Hobby Lobby)

"Is that an applecado?" (pointing at and avacodo)

(Maybe TMI...Oh well)
Early one morning after a night when Rockwell didn't eat I had extra milk. Daisy and I were in my bathroom and she noticed that I had an excess of milk and you could see the milk on my shirt, she looked at me with a serious face and said, "Your boobs are melting."

Most days we play outside in our little pool and when I am feeling too lazy to put on a swim suit, which is most days, Daisy is naked. Today while playing she said she had to go potty, so we ran inside and she sat down for a few minutes, but nothing happened. She then looked up at me and said, "All my pee is in the back yard."

I like her.

iPad

 Aaron surprised me back in July with  the gift of an iPad mini. I love it! And as you can see so does Daisy.

Private

I have officially made my blog private. So of the few who wanted to keep reading my blog, thanks! Now you get to keep up with my craziness.I decided to go private because I didn't like the idea that anyone could read my blog and look at pictures of my family. I didn't really like that. I also thought that now my blog is private that maybe I can be a little bit more open. Don't worry I won't be hanging all my dirty laundry out to dry, but before I never really talked about my church that often. I have to admit that I am not one of those Mormons who runs around letting everyone know that I am a Mormon and that I have a message to share. To be honest I don't like that style. But I have been afraid of what others might do or say if I talked about my religion. I think this stems back from jr. high. Such a horrible time. Anyway that was the last time that I was all about sharing my religion and I got reamed for it once or twice by some "friends". So I decided that I would try and live the best I could and if anyone was curious they could ask. Since then I have had a fair amount of good experiences sharing the gospel and I hope some good came from them. So you might be thinking "why are you going to be more open about your religion now that you have gone private?" The answer to that is for my family. This blog is my journal. I want my children to know what I believe and how I try to live what I believe. If they ever look back at this blog I don't want them to think "wow we went to church every Sunday but it must no have been that important because Mom never thought to write down anything about it." Maybe they won't think that maybe they will, but I want them to know that so much of who I am and how I want to raise them comes from my belief in Christ and his gospel. Okay now I am done being preachy preachy. (That is also another reason I never really blogged about church related stuff before, I don't like it when people try to show how good they are and how wonderfully they are living the gospel.) So hopefully I won't be preachy preachy, but I do want to share my testimony a tad more.

I love this picture.